Burnt Offering; a sage-smudged massage treatment

I decided to call in the big guns for some healing therapy. I had my favorite massage therapist, and Reiki Master, Josh Hazelwood, from the Homestead Resort, make a house call. Sounds like a perfect way to relax, right?

I promise this is hilarious…give me a minute.

I want to share a day in the life of this spa blogger. It’s been three months since my last post. It’s not that I haven’t traveled, but I haven’t written for months due to some pretty depressing stuff going on in my life. I’ve had some family issues, that I would rather not relive at the moment. I think most of you can understand that type of lingering, heavy stress. I also recently lost my closest friend to cancer. It was a very long and difficult year watching not one, but two friends lose their lives to cancer. Last week I was just absolutely devastated. I could not even find peace in my mediation practice.

Fast forward to today. I have two friends painting the entire interior and trim in my home. Yeah, even the ceilings. The dry wall guys were here for a couple of days at the first of the week. This project will likely take a month to complete. My entire house, spare one room, is covered in plastic. And now, I have a fine, white film of dry wall dust covering everything. Not a single scrap of anything Christmas is found in the house. Christmas is just three days away. So yeah, it’s just a mess. I have been a hot mess. It has been a struggle. Any one of these things is stressful. The three combined has me at my emotional limit.

I decided to call in the big guns for some healing therapy. I had my favorite massage therapist, and Reiki Master, Josh Hazelwood, from the Homestead Resort, make a house call. Sounds like a perfect way to relax, right?

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Master massage and Reiki Therapist, Josh Hazlewood from the Homestead Resort makes a house call for me.

My therapist visited my neighbor Kathy’s house first. She lives up the street. He was a little turned around and was on her doorstep, massage table in hand, asking for Erin Wolfe. Thankfully, Kathy has her finger on the pulse of the neighborhood, so naturally she could direct him to my house just at the end of the cul-de-sac. His wrong house call will only add to my “amazing” reputation in my neighborhood.

I introduced Josh to my two friends and painters, Dexter and Tim. And with his typical fabulous humor, Dexter quietly says to me under his breath…”Oh great, we now have three queens up in this house.” At that point I had to remind Dexter that there is in fact only one queen in this crib and it isn’t him! #Drama

Josh and I head downstairs to my guest room, the only room in the house not completely destroyed. He and I went over my mental and physical state for a few minutes before the treatment. Since Josh and I have known each other for twenty-plus years, we can quickly cut through the typical update on my mental health and overall lack of wellness at this point. He suggests we do a combination of therapies including Reiki, massage, as well as some other energy work for my grief. Wonderful. I am so thankful to have my long-time friend here to help me. I plan on keeping an open mind. We chat about treatments, some trips I have planned for my blog, when the subject of Donald Trump comes up. Josh follows me and was tickled about my response to the 2016 election on my Facebook feed (total shock, peppered with swear words). At that point, I said we should probably burn some sage to clear out some negativity, especially since we invoked Donald Trump’s name. What an epic turn this took. Stay with me…

Josh’s massage style can be what a mutual friend calls “woo woo.” Of course he is classically trained and he takes his craft to another level by adding a spiritual aspect to it.  He smudges some sage around me, himself, and in the guest room. He puts the sage out and opens some windows. He leaves the room, and I get comfortable on his table and tuck myself in under his mint green sheets. Outside I have three men finishing the mulching of beds in my yard. I kind of forgot about them.  Yes, mulch in December. Don’t ask, It’s a long story. I know it doesn’t make any sense. You cannot make up what follows next.

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A treatment full of promise!

Josh begins the treatment with some incantations, chanting, and heavy breathing. You need to imagine him invoking spirits. He calls some spirits to come into our presence. He mentioned St. Germain, and I swear I tried to not giggle. At this point I’m thinking about my painters upstairs. Can they hear this?Dexter worked in restaurants, and that is were we met many years ago, so the fact that Josh is calling on a spirit, a name of a distilled spirit, to help me, is beyond ironic.

Josh is now doing a combination of G-Breathing which I swear sounds just like a combination of Darth Vader heavy breathing and making sounds like a digeridoo…yeah that Australian instrument…kind of freaky. This is now mixed with a chant of my name, and he spells each letter out “E-R-I-N.” He owns this spiritual part of the treatment, and his voice is loud, guttural chanting, like Buddhist monks. We have no music on during this treatment, so I’m just rolling with it and trying to focus on my breath and not giggle. Josh asks me to breathe with him. Ok, I will give it a try. I’m pretty weirded out, but least I’m not weepy, so I will try anything to feel better. We do chanted prayers at my meditation center, so I tell myself this is probably not that different.
So Josh teaches me the G-Breath technique…breathe in through the mouth, out through the mouth, then in through the mouth, out through the nose. Then, inhale through the nose, exhale through the nose, then nose, mouth, then mouth, mouth again. We repeat this breathing pattern first at a regular pace, then at a slower pace, then again at a faster pace. I know I sound like Darth Vader now, too. Oh boy, I can just imagine Dexter’s reaction if he can hear any of this. He would die laughing.
The two of us are doing this heavy breathing thing. I’m lying on the table. Josh is standing at the head of the table. I hear something else. What is that? I hear this noise in the mulch, and at first I think its a wild animal or maybe my cat. Then it dawns on me that my super-devout, Christian landscapers can hear us and see it all!!! Just a few feet from me is a landscaper digging in my garden bed right outside of the open, drapery-free window!! So when Josh is doing his myofascial release of my glutes, he exclaims, “Girl! Your butt is so tight!!!” Not once, but several times. He is in awe of the tightness of my butt muscles. My landscapers are not only hearing this, they had to see him fully extend my leg and then push my leg forward towards my shoulder. This is not a good look on anyone. He is now rotating my leg in a figure eight for what feels like infinity. Really? I just keep thinking, how am I going to explain to the landscaper? Josh now has one hand under the sheet, under my lower back, and one hand on top of the sheet, not far from my lady bits in an effort to open my chakras??? Josh continues with occasional guttural sounds while opening my different chakras. He tells me he is going to stop at my heart chakra as that is what is needed for me today, due to my grief. I am just imagining the landscapers thinking I am under some kind of surgical sheet having some weird new age treatment that may appear sexual to an untrained person. Oh man…did I mention that I already have an “awesome reputation” in my neighborhood??? This is a small town. My landscaper also works with other friends and neighbors.

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Five windows in this guest room…all open, and all without drapes!

Since Josh and I had done about an hour of the Reiki and other metaphysical techniques, we were at a point were it was mostly massage and more appropriate to have a little chat. Josh is now sitting on the end of the massage table facing me, I’m face up and he has my left leg is in what I can only explain as a wresting move, like a figure four, while I attempt to explain why I have a “tight a**.”

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My new trainer, Nicole, that kicked my butt, literally.

Josh finishes up the treatment with some rhythmic chopping on my back, backside, and legs. He throws in a little reflexology for my feet. Again, it is silent in the room, so you can hear hollow sounds on my body like a drum, AND people rooting around in my backyard. Josh varies his sound therapy at this time. This time, he is creating loud vibrations with his voice.  I would liken it to a singing bowl treatment.  He tells me it will bring about peace in most clients. I would guess that it is very effective, if you are not on display to three men covered in mulch witnessing this outside!

Ok, I can laugh at the randomness of the universe at this point, until we took another turn! No, It gets worse!!! Deciding to do another round of sage smudging for extra measure, Josh sets off my smoke detector. This is a problem as it is connected to an alarm service. I need to leap from the table, but I am just draped in a sheet wearing only my birthday suit.  Alarm blaring, he leaves for me to get dressed. I throw on some shorts and tank top…IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW!
Can I remember the code to the alarm? Hell no! I have spa brain!!! I’m trying to turn it off before the fire department gets called. Too late! My neighbor, Lorraine, is walking over with her phone to check on me. “Erin, It’s Audiotronics, there is a fire in your basement.” “No, no, I’m fine I was just burning some sage for a massage.” I am mortified. “Thank you!” I then called 911 on myself (second time this year) and inform them that we are ok, and not on fire. At that point I hear the fire truck and a moment later I see it, a large, bright, yellow, ladder truck. Now I have the siren in my house going off, and a super loud, huge, fire truck with an awesome siren, alerting all the other neighbors. Oh JEEZ! I still haven’t cleared the code. Now I’m outside in my shorts and tank top, explaining to the firemen, springing out of the fire truck to save me, that it was a false alarm. Thankfully, they were kind and understanding. Wow, I am so beyond embarrassed at this point. Can you visualize my #spahairdontcare, smudged face make up, flimsy outfit, dazed and confused look, standing in my barefeet outside on my freezing cold brick entryway? Nuts! Then my neighbor next door, Kathy #2, quickly pulls up in her SUV. “Erin are you ok, the alarm service called me.” “Um, yeah…I’m fine. It was a false alarm.” She is looking at me, then looking at the ladder truck, totally puzzled. I then have to confess my sage/massage thing to a lady that already thinks I’m totally high-maintenance. Now, I am certain there is no doubt in her mind of my diva ways.  Two painters and a massage therapist standing behind me in the house, three men in the yard, four men on the ladder truck…no, I’m definitely not high maintenance.  It’s just me getting a smoking massage. She will be giving me a hard time about this for a while.

I still can’t find the code to my alarm system. It’s so loud! I’m digging for my key fob, missing in action, of course. The painters are loving this more than you can imagine. My phone is ringing. Total chaos. It’s my husband. He is telling me our house is on fire. “No baby, its ok. It’s like what happens when I cook bacon. We’re good. Just trying to get a little massage over here.” Oh man, who is going to call or show up next???

I take a moment to just find my bearings and try to clear the alarm code. I decide to go out to the garage to get a bottle of water from refrigerator and the garage door is open. Right outside the garage are all three of my landscapers taking a break. I can only describe the look on their face, seeing me like this today, my disheveled hair, smudged makeup, summer attire, my three-man crew, and now the fire department…as an open mouth stare and total awe. I just can’t even. I have to see these guys every Wednesday. I just said false alarm, took my water, and hit the automatic garage door button to close the door. I’m out.

My painters and Josh are sad for me. They know how stressed I have been and now my momentary bliss has been squashed. They suggest a cocktail. It’s only 2:30. My massage therapist agrees. “You need water and a shot.” Dexter, Josh, and I have a shot of bourbon neat, from a now, “no longer able to be a Christmas gift” bottle of fancy bourbon that was on my counter. None of us typically drink bourbon. Drinking it without ice or a mixer is also not typical, but then again, what is typical about this day?

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Laugh or just cry? Josh, Dexter, and I chose cocktails. Yes, that is spackle on my kitchen wall.

My helpers, now paid, leave in very good cheer. My next door neighbor, Kathy #2, text me to follow up and make certain that I am ok. I give her the update on my holiday travel plans and remind her that she can use our secret Santa stash and and hot tub while I am away. She usually hides her kids’ large Christmas gifts in my lower, back porch until Christmas morning. She then texted me back, …”No need for the secret Santa stash…haven’t had that since college…but I might take you up on the hot tub.” OMG!!! What does she think I’m offering her??? I reaffirmed that I was burning SAGE!!! WTH???

I can’t wait to hear about this from my other neighbors. I live in a small town. I am certain this story will morph and evolve. It’s always smart to get your version out first.  I can’t even make this stuff up.

I know a much more epic version of this will make its rounds. Let me know if you hear a better version. I am certain we can all use a good laugh in 2017.

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IT WAS SAGE!!!

Epic.Spa.Day.

I paid for this day in many ways.  Happy to be writing again, thank you Josh! Extra special thank you to the Cave Spring Volunteer Fire Department and all of my neighbors on the security system phone chain.  One does not need to be a spa junkie to appreciate a good laugh. Please share. I know 2016 has been a hard year for many. This is my life.

Primland Pan Seared Carolina Pink Snapper with Citrus and Sweet Pepper Relish

Primland Pan Seared Carolina Pink Snapper Citrus and Sweet Relish
Primland Pan Seared Carolina Pink Snapper
Citrus and Sweet Relish

A recipe from the kitchens of Primland Resort

Courtesy of Executive Chef Gunnar Thompson

Pan Seared Carolina Pink Snapper

Citrus and Sweet Relish

Serves 4

 

 

4filets of Snapper, skin on

Substitutions: Porgy, any type of Bass, Rockfish

1/4 cup canola oil or clarified butter

Citrus Pepper Relish:

2 Navel Oranges, peeled and chopped

Zest of 1 lemon and 1 lime

1/2 cup roasted red peppers, sliced

2 tbl olive oil

Pinch crushed red pepper

Prepare the relish first. Toss together all ingredients and salt to taste. Let marinate for one hour at room temperature.

Heat two large heavy skillets over medium high heat. Get a sturdy spatula ready. Add oil or clarified butter. Season Fish with salt and pepper. Place fish skin side up in a pan and cook very briefly. Flip and place skin side down. Press the fish firmly down with the spatula to keep the skin from curling. Cook until skin is golden and crisp and fish is cook through. Serve immediately. Top each portion with the citrus and pepper relish.

My notes from class, we chard the peppers over a flame on the gas stove to roast them and peeled the burnt skins off into a kitchen towel. He mentioned canned roasted peppers as a back up if grilling and charing the peppers at home is not an option. Also, be sure to section and remove any pith from the orange slices. That portion can be bitter and it is worth the effort it takes while sectioning the oranges.

Pan Seared Carolina Pink Snapper Citrus and Sweet Relish
Pan Seared Carolina Pink Snapper
Citrus and Sweet Relish
Learning to filet Red Snapper
Learning to filet Red Snapper
Chef Thompson shows us how to roast red peppers on the grill or the gas stove to add flavor
Chef Thompson shows us how to roast red peppers on the grill or the gas stove to add flavor

Primland Lobster with Lemon-Herb Butter

Lobster with Lemon-herbed butter
Lobster with Lemon-herbed butter

A recipe from the kitchens of Primland Resort

Meadows of Dan, Virginia

Courtesy of Executive Chef Gunnar Thompson

Boiled Lobster with Lemon-Herb Butter

Serves 4

 

 

2 each 1.5 lb lobsters

Compound Lemon-Herb Butter:

1/2 lb butter, softened

Zest of 1 lemon

3 tbl chopped, mixed herbs (parsley, chives, dill, tarragon, basil, or a selection of your favorites)

Stir together butter, lemon zest and herbs. Bring 2 gallons of water to boil, add 4 tbl salt.

Add lobsters and cook for 11-13 minutes. Remove lobsters to a platter and serve accompanied with personal dishes of soft lemon-herb butter. Crck the claws and tail before serving, but leave in the shell.

Class notes: Try to pick female lobsters as they are sweeter. They have much smaller, daintier legs than male lobsters. Do not over cook.

Lemon-Herbed Butter
Lemon-Herbed Butter
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Chef Thompson teaches us how to pick female lobsters

Primland Shrimp and Grits with Low Country Sauce

Primland Shrimp and Grits with Low Country Sauce
Primland Shrimp and Grits with Low Country Sauce

A recipe from the kitchens of Primland Resort in Meadows of Dan, Virginia

Courtesy of Executive Chef Gunnar Thompson

I had the pleasure of learning to cook seafood with Chef Gunnar Thompson at a wellness cooking class this spring at Primland. He was kind enough to share his recipe with me knowing I would share.

Shrimp and Grits with Low Country sauce and Stoneground Grits

Serves 6

Low Country Sauce:

  • 1/4 cup mixed bell peppers, diced
  • 1/4 cup onion, diced
  • 3 tbl ham, diced
  • 1 cloved garlic, minced
  • 3 tbl butter
  • 2tbl tomato paste
  • 3/4 tbl Cajun seasoning
  • 1/2 cup cream

Stoneground Grits:

  • 1 cup Course stoneground grits
  • 2 cups water
  • 2 cups of milk
  • 2 tbl butter
  • 1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
  • 36 large to medium shrimp, peeled, and devained
  • 2 tbl canola oil

Bring water and milk to a boil in a heavy pot to start the grits. Add grits and stir, reduce heat to very low immediately. Cook, stirring often, until grits are soft and all liquid has been absorbed. Add butter, cheese and season with salt. Set in a warm place. Prepare the low country sauce as the grits are cooking.

Heat a sauce pan over medium heat. Add butter, ham and vegetables. Cook until softened about five minutes. Add tomato paste and Cajun seasoning, cook for one minute. Add shrimp stock and cream. Simmer for five minutes. Season with salt.

Heat a very large skillet over medium high heat. Add Canola oil. Season shrimp with salt. Place shrimp in pan. Cook shrimp for one minute and flip over. Add low country sauce and simmer until shrimp is from, pink, and cooked.

Place grits in each bowl and top with six shrimp and spoon sauce over.

My class notes; Buy the best large stoneground grits you can find. It will make all the difference in this recipe. Also buy shrimp with the shells and make your own stock as he directed in our wellness cooking class.

Grapefruit Brulee Ritz-Carlton Grand Lakes Orlando

Pretty Please with sugar ON TOP

Spa food taken to a new level at the Ritz-Carlton Grande Lakes in Orlando, Florida. Fresh Florida Grapefruit is topped with a tablespoon of sugar and caramelized! Look for Grapefruit Brûlée on the menu or at home, break out that seldom used kitchen torch for an easy and impressive breakfast. I chose this simple recipe to share as it is so easy to duplicate. I called down to the kitchen and the staff told me they just used a tablespoon of plain white sugar. I think this is a perfect example of fresh ingredients used in the peak of season need little to no alteration. Florida grapefruit are in season from November through May of each year. Thanksgiving through Christmas is generally concidered the peak of citrus season. The PNC Father Son golf Tournament is held during the second weekend in December.

An awesome spa breakfast to start my day during the PNC Father Son Challenge.
An awesome spa breakfast to start my day during the PNC Father Son Challenge.

How to have a Ritz shower experience at home

Body Treatments of your choice with the Apothecary Bar. Select herbs and essential oils to create either a scrub or an exfoliating wrap to produce a glow and relief tension.
Body Treatments of your choice with the Apothecary Bar. Select herbs and essential oils to create either a scrub or an exfoliating wrap to produce a glow and relieve tension.

 

I am a little shameless when it comes to stealing great spa ideas and repeating them at home. One of the cool luxury perks that was unique to the Ritz-Carlton in New Orléans, was a custom scrub in the shower area.  I’m sure most of us have bought or been gifted a sugar or salt scrub at some time. Why not? They make excellent and affordable gifts. We can even make some pretty fancy ones at home. The genius in this lil perk was in its simplicity.  The staff set out a tray near the showers. You could help yourself to a small cup, and fill it with your choice of a sugar or coffee. They provided a large bottle of body wash as well. The idea is to start with a bodywash you normally use, and add and exfoliant to it to help slough off dead skin and increase circulation. The pleasant scent takes your shower to the next level.

A sweet little perk for guests of The Ritz-Carlton Spa, New Orleans. An assortment of sugars and coffee to add to your shower gel.
Mini Apothecary Bar. A sweet little perk for guests of The Ritz-Carlton Spa, New Orleans. An assortment of sugars and coffee to add to your shower gel.

I happened to have a bunch of apothecary jars at home and not in use. I filled the jars with turbinado sugar, kosher salt, and coffee. I then mixed one of  those ingredients with some odds and ends bodywashes to clean out my bathroom closet. Canning jars or other bowls would look just as nice for a more traditional home or cabin. I included a spoon in the jar to make it easy to use and mix.

Myscrubs
I made this tray for use in my master bathroom. This tray would be a unexpected surprise in a guest bathroom as well.
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I used what I had on hand including sugar, salt, and coffee.
Apothecary jars
If you want to get super fancy, the Ritz-Carlton included more exotic ingredients for their body wraps. Dried flowers (lavender and roses petals), powdered algae, powdered honey, powdered clay, dried eucalyptus leaves, dried rosemary, sugars, salts, and essential oils.

 

Some additional thoughts:

Turn off  your phone 🙂

Set an intention to enjoy some quiet time and the process of self-care.

Take care not to use any bodywash products that you do not have an experience with before adding an exfoliant.

Try as a hand wash first, if you have any concerns about possible skin irritations.

This scrub would be a nice first step in a home manicure, as well.

If using an essential oil, be sure add just a few drops to a base or carrier oil. I like sesame, coconut, grape seed and almond oils for my base.

If using oils, be sure to take care exiting the shower or tub.

Raw Sugar used with the body wash, takes the shower up a notch.
Raw Sugar used with the body wash, takes the shower up a notch.

 

Let me know if you tried this and what your experience was!